Tri Lakes Family Blog

One of the deepest needs in life is to know that you matter. To know that you have value. To know that you are worth something to someone. There is a place inside that was created to be filled with that.

When you do not know that you matter, then you spend your life desperately trying to find or create it. You would almost sell your soul for the opportunity to be able to feel that you matter.

You try to create it. In one way or another, you try to create fantasy world where you can always make people value you the way you long for them to. Where you can always be someone who is valued and who matters.

You try to create it and then control it in those you live around, by trying to gain their favor and approval, even when it means denying who you were really meant to be or doing things you do not want to do in hopes that they will approve of you. You hope that if you are who they want you to be, then you will be able to keep your worth with them. You are afraid not to, for fear that you will not matter to them anymore.

You build false kingdoms in which you matter to false lovers. You take on false responsibilities in order for someone to need you so that you will matter. You sell yourself in order to matter. You give away the real for the fantasy in order to feel that you matter. And then when the bubble bursts, and you perceive that none of that was real, you give yourself over to more addictions to try to muffle the terrible pain inside.

You don’t know how to know that you really matter. You don’t even know if you do.  And still the hole is inside.  You go on doing things you hate doing because there is an inner compelling force that drives you, above everything else, to want to matter. To have value.

Because you do have value. You were made to matter. You were made to live in that embrace. You were created to pursue that compelling force that drives you to the place where you really really matter.

But because you felt the wounds and received the lies where there should have been value and affirmation, you do not recognize that true place.  Your heart does not know how to connect with the one true Person who made you to matter. You do not understand that there already is a place where you matter. You do not know how to find or live from that place.

And yet, all the while, that place inside was created to be filled with that very thing. That place inside  was created to receive and be filled with the value that was designed especially for you by the Creator Himself. There is a place inside that can never be satisfied until it has entered into that embrace of value from the One who created the compelling need in the first place for the specific purpose of being filled by His value and embrace.

I’ve been on this journey, and the further I go, the further I see how much I am still on the journey. The further Father God brings me into His heart, the more my deepest place of origin cries out to Him to know His value for me, to be able to receive His love for me to the fullest. The further I go, the more I learn both how much He values me, and how much more I am still longing to know that value from Him. The further He takes me, the more I learn to love Him, because when you really experience that place of love and value in His heart, your heart learns to love back.

Charlene and Bob Nolan are in Honduras right now.  I gave her a bit of a report on the ladies retreat because she was praying for us and asked how things went.  One of the comments/desires I shared with her follows and she reported back concerning this comment with their current experience in Honduras–enjoy and pray for them!

“I want to be filled with the grace of God and the Holy Spirit, a woman of integrity and wisdom like Stephen, who’s face shines in opposition because of the encounter and oneness with Jesus.”  -Doreen

“This weekend we ministered at 2 different churches and the pastor and his family have gone through great trials where they’ve almost lost their lives in car multiple car accidents AND their family members also attacked through a massive motorcycle accident. The guy was left for dead yet lives and walks with a walker. These folks are so full of joy and radiate with the glory of God. As I stood looking at them dancing in the worship service the Lord spoke to me the word RESURRECTION. I pondered the word and was reminded how Jesus rose from the dead, but he rose with the POWER of God and PRESENCE OF THE SPIRIT OF GOD – radiating His glory.

I thought of what I’ve walked through with my physical deal and at times had many lessons trusting God to give me physical strength to keep going. For example when we came to Honduras shortly after being hit again with Bell’s palsy yet was carried by the wonderful hands of a loving Father. The passage in 2 Cor. I think 3 or chapter 4 where Paul was talking about all the persecution he went through and sometimes faced death yet he said this light and momentary affliction was for a far greater weight of eternal glory.

Makes you stop and think about this doesn’t it??? To see the JOY of the LORD in these folks is such a testimony. The pastor and his wife that were assaulted had services that night and the following day and keep going. I can think of my friends in India that also face threats of death for their ministry – . I’m still growing and learning my friend and I, too ask the same thing you asked for.  We can pray for each other for this. We are His bright and shining ones my friend! “

another update from Charlene:

I found myself in a very sick place for several years.  I cried out to Jesus to come, NOW, and heal this situation or I knew death would come.  Several friends, on my behalf, cried out for healing also.  But death came.  I felt the numb, cool embrace of the death of hopes, dreams, and life as I knew it.   Then Jesus came.  Jesus wept with me. He embraced me and then HE called me back to life.  This is what I saw.

When did the miracle happen?  Was it when Lazarus was bathed, dressed in clean clothes, and feasting with Jesus and friends?  Was it when all the grave clothes where removed and those who loved him could touch his warm skin and see life in his eyes?  Was the miracle when he exited the dark tomb?  Or was the miracle when life began to return to Lazarus inside that dark tomb, while he was still wrapped in stinking grave clothes and moved his formerly dead body so that he could get up and leave the tomb?

My miracle return to life happened when I awoke with tears already on my face and a sob choking me awake.  At that moment I gave in to the grief.  Before this I had been angry with my husband. I was blaming others for not helping earlier and  attacking myself for weakness.   Right now I am still stinking. I need help to remove the grave clothes.  I shy away from people getting too close or looking in my eyes, but I have left the tomb’s darkness.  I am out here with both Jesus and my friends.  Someday I will have the feast but for now I am happy to be breathing life rather than laying in death.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

“On more than one significant occasion God has told me to ’stay put’ or ’stay in the place’ or ’stay in the vein’ (as it were) when I was struggling. It seems to be one of God’s ways…almost like a test of: ‘Will you trust Me if I tell you to stay put?’

Too many people panic, and panic is a killer. As one President was famously quoted, ‘The only thing we have to fear is FEAR ITSELF!’ That is a profound piece of wisdom.

Yes, make changes. Yes, cut costs. Yes, pull in the reins during troubled-water times. But often, it’s just at that point where God says, ‘But stay right where you are for now!’ If that applies to you, then allow it to apply to you right now.”

Jarius was a leader in the Synagogue and probably had the same feelings about Jesus as the rest of them. BUT when it came to the possibility of his daughter’s healing, he thought differently. It’s easy to dismiss something a far off but when it touches our family, we have to face the truth of it.

The woman with the blood hemorrhage was desperate. She was unclean. She felt so ugly inside from bleeding that long. She was desperate for a touch from Jesus. She risked it all to touch him. At once she knew she was healed. She didn’t want to bother Jesus. She decided to just touch him, which would have made Jesus unclean in the Jewish law. It was a risk she probably felt he would never know.

Sometimes we are so desperate and think we can just barely touch Jesus. But he always knows and will meet us in our desperation.

Both Jarius and the woman were desperate in a different way. Jarius was desperate for healing for his daughter. He risked his reputation in the Synagogue to have Jesus touch his daughter. The woman risked breaking the Jewish law by touching someone while she was unclean. Both risked a lot because they believed Jesus was the answer to their need. He is the answer to your need, too. Jesus knows our desperation. He loves us so much. He wants us to reach out and touch him. He doesn’t care if we get him “dirty” with our sinful, ugly lives. He loves us enough to meet us in that unclean state. But he loves us enough to not leave us there. Healing will flow when we reach out and touch him in our desperation. Don’t wait! Touch him now. He’s waiting for you.

In Mark 3:20-21, 31-35, we see that Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him because they wanted to take him home. They had heard that the disciples didn’t even have time to eat. The reason they came in the first place was to put a stop to what he was doing. They couldn’t believe what he was doing was what God wanted. They were concerned about physical things more than about spiritual things. In the New Living Translation, they said, “He’s out of his mind.” They were more concerned about the outward appearance and how what he did effected them and their reputation. I also believe they were genuinely concerned about his physical well-being. They were on a mission to make sure Jesus was taking care of himself.

In verses 31-35 when someone told Jesus his mother and brothers were outside, he responded in a way that I always felt was a little harsh. He acted like they were nothing even though they were his family. He knew what was in their hearts. He knew they didn’t support what he was about. He knew they had really come to put a stop to what he was doing. He knew he had to do what God has called him to. Jesus’ response told them that they were not his family if they were trying to do something that was out of God’s will. We are all his family if we do the will of the Father.

His family’s concern was legitimate. I can especially relate as a mother. Jesus’ mother must have been very concerned that Jesus wasn’t taking care of himself and would wear himself out. But their concern was not what God wanted them to be concerned about. They saw their son/sibling and the physical part. God wanted them to see the Messiah–HIS son and be concerned about doing the will of the Father in Heaven. They couldn’t see past the physical realm into the spiritual realm.

What realm do I see? Am I so focused on the physical life that I miss what God is doing spiritually? I don’t want to stand in the way of what God is doing. I am an administrative person. I always see the physical stuff around me; what needs to be done to make things happen. God wants me to see past that. Sometimes he is doing something in the spiritual that looks a little messy physically. If I step in and try to stop it or help, I could mess up what he is doing in someone’s life.

Lord, give us eyes to see both the physical and the spiritual. We don’t want to stand in the way of what you are doing in our lives and in the lives of the people in our spheres of influence.

I have struggled with the question why God allows innocent people to suffer evil from the hands of the wicked. He is God. Why doesn’t he just take out the ungodly person instead of letting him be there to hurt others? I’ve had to work through this struggle personally. Why did God allow this person in my family to do hurt to so many of us when we couldn’t defend ourselves? It can feel like betrayal by God.

I still don’t know all those answers. But Matthew 13:24-29 really stood out to me in a way I never saw before. This is the parable where the enemy came & planted weeds in the farmer’s wheat field. The servants found it and came and told the farmer, “There are weeds in your wheat field!”

“An enemy has done it!” said the farmer.

“Shall we pull out the weeds?” asked the servants. (Yeah, go for it. Go yank all those nasty weeds out of there. Get them away before they ruin the field.)

But this is what the farmer said: “NO, you’ll hurt the wheat if you do. Let them both grow together until the harvest, and then the harvesters will sort it out . . .”

Wow.

“You’ll hurt the wheat if you do.”

This doesn’t answer all the questions, but it helped me. Sometimes God, in His omniscience where we can’t see, leaves the weeds in because He cares that much for the wheat.

Ok, to follow my previous post, because I’m too nice to make you sit through both of these at the same time, I’ve been reading the book of James and it has been ahem stirring me up so to speak.
James has some choice words in chapter 2 for believers who think it’s OK to treat people with money preferentially over those who have none.  He really takes them to task for it, and in the process delivers this:

¹⁴What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? ¹⁵Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. ¹⁶If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? ¹⁷In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

This brought to mind several conversations I’ve had about Sunday lunch tippers.  I’ve had friends over the years who have been waitresses/waiters. They’ve mentioned the horror of the after church Sunday lunch crowd.  Yes folks.  Straight from Church Christians are notoriously BAD tippers.  Often rude and demanding they usually leave the bare minimum, if not less.  I’ve even heard several stories of people not being tipped with money but instead with a biblical tract..attempting to ’save’ the wait staff.

REALLY!

Apparently we’ve not read this verse.  If we say…hey I wish you well.  I’m going to care about your ‘eternal soul’ but not give a flying fig newton about how you put food on the table, or do my part to help you keep a roof over your heads then what good is it?  This isn’t exactly putting faith into action is it?

Tip like you were tipping Jesus folks!

The other great thing about wealth is here:

¹Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. ²Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. ³Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. ⁴Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. ⁵You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. ⁶You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you.

I feel like this is particularly timely.  Seriously.  What all do we have that comes to us at a price to others that have nothing against us?  What about the death that has been caused because of the Oil and Gas that fuels our cars and warms our homes?  What about the coffee that is grown in such a way that the workers get pennies a day for their back breaking work?  What about shopping at big conglomerate stores or restaurants that treat employees and suppliers with disdain and keep them in poverty?  What is the price on my relative luxury.

I read an article the other day in the Washington Post about a woman who was complaining about how she was just scraping by on $300,000 a year. I was just appalled by this and had much to say about the excess of her life.  Then I read James.  Do you know that I (who often live paycheck to paycheck) am in the top 8.1% wealthiest people in the world? See where you come out. So where do I need to pare down, give up, let the cries that reach the Lord reach my ears?
Lots to think about.  Hope it stirs you too.

So Recently my pastor shared that he had been convicted to read through the New Testament between August and the end of the year. I figured it was something I should get behind too. I decided not to be chronological, but instead start bouncing around the smaller letters. You know the ones.  It seems like every other verse I read and think “Wow, this would really undo peoples lives…mine included”.

The Book of James (one of my favorite books of the bible, if we’re allowed them) has been really getting to me this week.  There are a lot of things that are standing out to me, but I want to just touch on a few.

One that caught my attention straight off was this little gem.  James 4:11-12

“11Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. ¹²There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?”

That last line really got to me.  I began to think of when Jesus talked of neighbor.  Remember the people came to him and asked him about the commandments. He told them to Love God with their whole being and love their neighbor as they would love themselves.  They asked the obvious question. “Who is my neighbor?”  To answer them Jesus tells a story. There was this man traveling.  Dude ran afoul of robbers, and was pretty messed up.  He was lying all beaten and bloody by the side of the road. Along came a priest.  The guy in charge of being the one who reconciled the people to God and Re-presented God to the people. He saw the bloody mess, and crossed to the other side of the rode and went on his way.  Then came a Levite.  One of those that God set aside to minister in the temple.  Someone who is supposed to know the character of God really well.  He saw the beaten man and crossed to the other side of the road.  Then came a Samaritan man.  One who was an outcast to the Jews.  You see Samaritans had the same code…the Torah, but they believed that they had the truer understanding because they were the Jews who didn’t go off in exile.  They believed that the mountain where Abraham almost Sacrificed Isaac was the place where the temple was supposed to be.  Basically the Samaritans were shunned because they had the ‘wrong’ ideology.This Samaritan man sees the guy lying broken and bloody and stops to help.  He takes him to be cared for, and pays for the entire treatment.   Jesus asked which was the neighbor, and scandalized one and all by showing that the scorned was the best example.

Take this back to James.

Who am I to Judge My Neighbor?
Who’s my neighbor?
The one near me who doesn’t share my ideology. [1]
Wow.  Who could that be today?  The unmarried couple living together?  The woman that got an abortion? The democratic president? A muslim? The gay guy that waited on my table? The woman that shows more cleavage than I think is modest? The person who watches a TV show I this is wrong? The guy with his explicit rap music turned up so loud I heard it? The person answering their cell phone in a movie?  The [insert your answer here]?

Earlier in James I found this bit:

⁸If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing right. ⁹But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers. ¹⁰For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. ¹¹For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.”If you do not commit adultery but do commit murder, you have become a lawbreaker.

¹²Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, ¹³because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

Isn’t that beautiful?

Mercy triumphs over Judgment! So what does that mean for us, what does it mean for me?
1.    i?de?ol?o?gy ahy-dee-ol-uh-jee, id-ee-] –noun, plural -gies.
1. the body of doctrine, myth, belief, etc., that guides an individual, social movement, institution, class, or large group.
2. such a body of doctrine, myth, etc., with reference to some political and social plan, as that of fascism, along with the devices for putting it into operation.
Philosophy.
3. a. the study of the nature and origin of ideas.
b. a system that derives ideas exclusively from sensation
4. theorizing of a visionary or impractical nature

I’m placing this post on the blog for us to be able to comment on what we are reading as we read through the New Testament the next three months. This will be easier if you have a short comment of something that stood out to you as you read the scriptures. All you have to do is click on the comment button below. I will have to approve the comment. (This keeps those advertising, spam comments from being posted on the blog. I’ve had almost 300 spam comments wanting to be posted since we started this blog.)

I hope this will help all of us to more easily post what the Lord is saying to us as we read.

Marla Brenneman, blog moderator

marlafb2000@gmail.com